The Gift of Giving
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. Have you gotten that special something for that special someone? Yes, Valentine’s Day is seen as just one of those crazy Hallmark enforced holidays in some people’s eyes. Unless you are attached to a significant other it will likely pass by you with little fanfare or concern. Christmas is a more universal time of giving, but is a bit too commercialized in my opinion. Why do I think so? Might be the fact this last year I heard stores playing holiday music in early November. I fear for the poor retail clerks’ sanity; however I digress from my point.
Holidays like these can be wonderful demonstrations of people being inspired by an outside force to give to others based solely on the intangible joy of giving. Believe it or not, some people actually give without a single thought of what physical item or thanks they might receive in return. The act of giving for them is simply a win-win situation, as both parties benefit, albeit differently, from the transaction.
I was fortunate to be raised by loving and generous parents who instilled in me the desire to give back to my community whenever and however I was able to. To paraphrase a line from a song, charity is not a coat my parents wore only twice a year. My father retired from his government job and became a full time volunteer in 1985 when I was 10. I grew up watching him volunteer his time and money for others. He was a fantastic role model and is still volunteering both his time and money now 20 years later.
Following in his footsteps, my wife Parker and I recently signed up to give a single hour of our time, once a week, to assist local elementary school children in Poway with their reading and math skills. As you may know, Poway schools are renowned and many people move there just to be in the district. You would think demand for this type of program would be low. Yet sadly, Jane, the volunteer who runs the reading program, noted we are nearly 30 years junior of their average volunteer and desperately needed. I glanced back at the section of the Union Tribune where I had cut out the contact information on volunteering. I don’t know how I missed it. The headline read clearly: Senior Scene.
How sad. I highly recommend reading Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community by Robert Putnam. For those of you with kids, or thinking about having them, you might want to consider the world they’re entering into, and how you might prepare them to fight the current tide of apathy eroding the community they live in.
My parents taught me early that how much you give financially is irrelevant; instead the fact that you are considering giving your money, time, or both to others who are not as fortunate as you is the key. Many people never experience this paradigm shift in life, and I think that was their whole point: You could just as easily be wearing your neighbor’s shoes right now as they could be putting on yours, but most never come to think that way. And why should they? Self preservation is nature’s model. Altruism in nature leads more often to premature eradication. Prairie dogs are good examples. The one who stays out of his protective hole and cries out to warn the others of the circling hawk is generally the one who gets eaten.
Charity and volunteerism are not, and never will be, conquests to see who can give the most – life is not a populist philanthropy contest (although that would certainly make for an interesting society where everyone is competing to give, not gain). Both are instead opportunities for you to do something productive with your unique abilities and assets and quite possibly, as a bonus, maybe even feel better about yourself as a human being at the end of the day. That’s all there is to it! (Special note to the tax conscious: Yes, there’s a tax deduction in there, but if you are giving only to get something in return, is it still charitable?)
Thus, I ask you to find it in your heart to follow me down the long and winding path I have lead you so far. On April 10th, I will be walking with my wife in the 2005 MS Walk in downtown San Diego. My personal goal this year is to raise $2,500. It is an ambitious goal I hope to achieve. Stirring the pot with my own $100 contribution, I hope that many of you will find it in your hearts to follow suit with whatever you can afford. $1 is better than no contribution at all, so please, give whatever you can, no matter the amount.
If you do not have on-line access or prefer not to donate over the web, please write a check to the National MS Society and mail it to me at 3790 Via De La Valle, Suite 201, Del Mar, CA 92014. I will gladly mail you back a tax deductible receipt for your records.
Go ahead. Do it now while you’re thinking about it. Give whatever you can. You’ll feel good knowing you stretched out a helping hand to someone today; someone you could have found yourself being if the cards had been dealt differently.
Even if you can not give today, I hope I have stirred you to think more positively about charity and volunteerism and may consider it an option at your disposal in the future. The comment I hear most often when I mention volunteering to someone is, “I don’t have enough time/money.” I find that interesting. 500 years ago, I might have believed that. You would have probably been too busy just trying to stay alive to volunteer anything to anybody. I get that.
Yet we live now in a word where life’s necessities have become simple commodities. Food, water, and shelter are givens, even for our homeless. In the United States, where so many have so much and feel humanely compelled to give eagerly and often after a natural disaster, I ask you to sit down right now and seriously answer yourself this question: Why must it be a tragedy before we are moved to action?
Thanks for listening…
Holidays like these can be wonderful demonstrations of people being inspired by an outside force to give to others based solely on the intangible joy of giving. Believe it or not, some people actually give without a single thought of what physical item or thanks they might receive in return. The act of giving for them is simply a win-win situation, as both parties benefit, albeit differently, from the transaction.
I was fortunate to be raised by loving and generous parents who instilled in me the desire to give back to my community whenever and however I was able to. To paraphrase a line from a song, charity is not a coat my parents wore only twice a year. My father retired from his government job and became a full time volunteer in 1985 when I was 10. I grew up watching him volunteer his time and money for others. He was a fantastic role model and is still volunteering both his time and money now 20 years later.
Following in his footsteps, my wife Parker and I recently signed up to give a single hour of our time, once a week, to assist local elementary school children in Poway with their reading and math skills. As you may know, Poway schools are renowned and many people move there just to be in the district. You would think demand for this type of program would be low. Yet sadly, Jane, the volunteer who runs the reading program, noted we are nearly 30 years junior of their average volunteer and desperately needed. I glanced back at the section of the Union Tribune where I had cut out the contact information on volunteering. I don’t know how I missed it. The headline read clearly: Senior Scene.
How sad. I highly recommend reading Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community by Robert Putnam. For those of you with kids, or thinking about having them, you might want to consider the world they’re entering into, and how you might prepare them to fight the current tide of apathy eroding the community they live in.
My parents taught me early that how much you give financially is irrelevant; instead the fact that you are considering giving your money, time, or both to others who are not as fortunate as you is the key. Many people never experience this paradigm shift in life, and I think that was their whole point: You could just as easily be wearing your neighbor’s shoes right now as they could be putting on yours, but most never come to think that way. And why should they? Self preservation is nature’s model. Altruism in nature leads more often to premature eradication. Prairie dogs are good examples. The one who stays out of his protective hole and cries out to warn the others of the circling hawk is generally the one who gets eaten.
Charity and volunteerism are not, and never will be, conquests to see who can give the most – life is not a populist philanthropy contest (although that would certainly make for an interesting society where everyone is competing to give, not gain). Both are instead opportunities for you to do something productive with your unique abilities and assets and quite possibly, as a bonus, maybe even feel better about yourself as a human being at the end of the day. That’s all there is to it! (Special note to the tax conscious: Yes, there’s a tax deduction in there, but if you are giving only to get something in return, is it still charitable?)
Thus, I ask you to find it in your heart to follow me down the long and winding path I have lead you so far. On April 10th, I will be walking with my wife in the 2005 MS Walk in downtown San Diego. My personal goal this year is to raise $2,500. It is an ambitious goal I hope to achieve. Stirring the pot with my own $100 contribution, I hope that many of you will find it in your hearts to follow suit with whatever you can afford. $1 is better than no contribution at all, so please, give whatever you can, no matter the amount.
If you do not have on-line access or prefer not to donate over the web, please write a check to the National MS Society and mail it to me at 3790 Via De La Valle, Suite 201, Del Mar, CA 92014. I will gladly mail you back a tax deductible receipt for your records.
Go ahead. Do it now while you’re thinking about it. Give whatever you can. You’ll feel good knowing you stretched out a helping hand to someone today; someone you could have found yourself being if the cards had been dealt differently.
Even if you can not give today, I hope I have stirred you to think more positively about charity and volunteerism and may consider it an option at your disposal in the future. The comment I hear most often when I mention volunteering to someone is, “I don’t have enough time/money.” I find that interesting. 500 years ago, I might have believed that. You would have probably been too busy just trying to stay alive to volunteer anything to anybody. I get that.
Yet we live now in a word where life’s necessities have become simple commodities. Food, water, and shelter are givens, even for our homeless. In the United States, where so many have so much and feel humanely compelled to give eagerly and often after a natural disaster, I ask you to sit down right now and seriously answer yourself this question: Why must it be a tragedy before we are moved to action?
Thanks for listening…